LA CHICA DE LA PRIMERA CITA

Sí chicas. Admitámoslo ya de una vez. En las primeras citas todas somos suer educadas, recatadas y todo lo que una suegra desea para su hijito del alma. Pero todas, en nuestros adentros sabemos que después de zamparte una ensalada de 8 euros llegas a tu casa y comes como una cerda tu bocadillo preferido porque te has quedado con hambre.

Mi primera cita la recuerdo con mucha ternura y resignación. Me llevó a una hamburguesería. ¡Os lo podéis creer?! En la primera cita, conmigo. Una loca de la comida rápida y pringosa. Y yo, haciéndome la «niña bien» tardé casi 15 minutos en comerme una hamburguesa con cuchillo y tenedor, para evitar que las comisuras de los labios se llenaran de mayonesa.

 

Chicos, esa chica no existe. La confianza da asco, ya lo decían tus padres. Esa chica, cuando coja confianza, va a dejar de beber la cerveza en vaso, y va a beber como una auténtica gorrina del morro de todas las estrella galicia que le pongas delante, hasta que esté tan colocada que le dé por quitarse los estúpidos tacones y ponerse a bailar descalza por todo el bar, mientras tú la miras. ¿Y qué opciones tienes tú? Pues que te guste, o avergonzarte. 
Yo tuve la grandísima suerte de que siempre me ha querido como soy. Con mis cervezas, mis bocadillos extragrandes con mucha mayonesa y salsa barbacoa. Mi suerte es que él estaba tan loco como yo.
La chica de la primera cita nunca te dirá que le gusta que le pegues fuertes en el culo mientras la empotras.

La chica de la primera cita nunca te dirá que ronca cuando duerme, o que tienen manías demasiado peculiares que al final acabaras odiando. La chica de la primera cita se desmaquilla cada noche, se pone joyería fina y le encanta la lencería que conjunta. Luego todo eso se acaba. ¿O no? Me vais a decir que elegis el sujetador todos los días a juego con las braguitas. JÁ!
Las chicas de la primera cita siempre se van a reír con tus bromas, siempre se ponen colonias que te encantan, se duchan todos, TODOS los días, y nunca le huelen los pies. Nunca se tiran pedos ni eruptos. Y nunca, nunca, bajo ningún concepto hablarán mal de tu familia. Nunca se duermen en el cine, y come pocas palomitas, nunca gasta, y siempre te dirá que no es necesario que le acompañes a casa.

La moraleja de la abuela

Chicas, seáis como seáis, nunca lo ocultéis. Hacer lo que os apetezca enel momento que os apetezca. LIBERAOS. No perdáis tiempo en intentar quedar bien, porque al final, todos los defectos salen a la luz. Y si es la persona indicada se enamorara tanto de tí, como de cada unos de tus bellos defectos. ERES HUMANA, y eres GENIAL.

266 Replies to “LA CHICA DE LA PRIMERA CITA”

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